you make it real for me
by daisymeadowss
Summary: "And it's not fair because Damon is real, he's real - and he has his faults, but he's here and he loves you and he'd do anything to protect you, yet you can't let go of Stefan." oneshot. Damon/Elena, a little Stefan/Elena


_You Make It Real For Me_

Hi guys! This is my first Delena story, whoop whoop, so I'm excited and really nervous about it. If you check my profile you'll see that I mostly write Steferine, because they're my favourite TVD couple, but I really do love Delena too. I've never tried to write them before though, because I honestly don't feel like I do Elena justice. She's so... unattainable for me. And she's not even a complex character (at least I don't think so, not like Damon or Stefan or Katherine) but maybe that's why I can't manage to write her...

Anyhow, yesterday way my birthday (yay! :D) and I wanted to surprise myself with a fic :D And I really wanted to try something new so I knew I had to write Delena. At first I was going to analyze 2x09 in Elena's POV (because as much as I can't write her, I like a challenge) but then this idea came to me and I just _had_ to.

So, it's mainly Delena but there's a great deal of Stelena in it too (sorry about that. I don't like them either but I wanted to make this as realistic as possible.) It takes place somewhere in the near future. Oh, and it's in Elena's POV, but in 2nd person POV.

Well, that's all I wanted to say I think...

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything.

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><p>"I'm sorry."<p>

It's such a simple, harmless sentence. 

_I'm sorry._

It does nothing to ease your pain because you know he doesn't mean it - not really. And even if he did... would it matter? Would those two words make everything suddenly okay again? You highly doubt it.

"Okay," you nod anyway. Your answer doesn't seem to satisfy him however.

"Really, Elena," he insists. "I'm sorry for everything. I never intended any of this..."

"I know, Stefan," you cut him off. You don't want to hear his lame meaningless excuses. "You couldn't help it. It's in your nature." You pause. He's looking at you with sad, begging eyes - he's begging you to take him back but you can't. You won't. Not when you don't even recognize this man standing in front of you anymore. "I just never thought you were like that too. I really thought you were _good_."

"I am," he cries desperately. "I'm good, I'm..." he trails off when you start shaking your head. He knows you're right. He knows he's not good, not anymore. Maybe he never was.

"I'm sorry," he says it again. His eyes are filling up with tears now. "I guess there's no chance of us,-"

"No," you shake your head. "Not anymore. We're done, Stefan." _And maybe we never really begun in the first place._

He nods in understanding, a few droplets of tears running down his face and you have to look away because _this_ _Stefan_, this Stefan who has feelings and has light in his eyes - which is replaced by pain at the moment - reminds you so much of the Stefan you used to know and love before. But that Stefan wasn't real. That Stefan was only one part of him, and the other half is the cruel killing monster who you despise with every fiber of your being.

You can't love both Stefan and if you can't love both sides of him, then you can't love him at all.

So you're over.

_For good._

You turn around and walk away from him with strong measured steps, ignoring his quiet sobs - this scene reminds you so much of one that happened a long time ago, a long time ago when things were easier and when you broke up with him because you were protecting your family, not because he was a completely different person now, _and oh dear god,_ how much things have changed since then - and with the distance growing more and more between you and him, you feel like it's getting easier and easier to breathe.

You can get through this after all.

_You will._

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><p>"I was such an idiot," you mumble against the bottle of scotch that Damon handed to you the moment you took step into the house and saw your pain-filled, broken but tearless face. That's his way with dealing things. Get drunk. You felt like agreeing with him in that moment.<p>

"You just choose to see the best in people," he retorts. "That's kind."

"And idiotic." He doesn't answer. You know that's because he agrees with you.

"You fell in love," he says after a while, trying to come up with something that would make you feel better about yourself. The only problem is that while he's good with jokes and sarcasm, he's not good with deep and meaningful conversations. _Unlike Stefan._ "There's nothing wrong with that."

"But the man I fell in love with is gone and has been for a long time. I just never realized it." You pause, letting out a bitter laugh. "On a second thought, the man I fell in love with was _never_ real. It was a nice but false facade."

He takes a sip from his drink. "He wanted to be that man for you. I know that."

"That's not enough." You lean against him tiredly, comfortable in his strong warm arms. His embrace is the only place you feel safe these days. The only place you feel remotely happy. You know that if you can ever get through this - and not just Stefan and your broken heart, but the mess your life's become in the last two years, the great losses you suffered thanks to that _dickhead_ _hybrid_ - it's with his help. He'll help you and he'll heal you but without him you're lost. You've got nowhere else to go. It's just you and him now.

You need him.

You need him like you never needed Stefan.

But you love Stefan - _the fake one_ - like you never loved Damon.

And you start to believe that Damon loves you like Stefan never did.

It's a fucked up situation, one you cannot find the solution for.

And it's not fair, it's really _not fucking fair,_ because Damon is _real_, you know that, _he's real_ - he has his faults, _a lot of faults_, but he's here and he loves you and he'd do anything to protect you, yet you can't let go of Stefan. You feel for Damon, something that you cannot nor you want to identify yet, some strange feeling, an attraction that could be - and will probably be - more in the future, but not now. Not yet. _Someday._

"Do you still love him?" he asks you after moments of silence. His tone is careful and tentative, like he doesn't even want to know the answer but he couldn't help but ask anyway. That's probably the case, you realize.

You struggle to find the right words to express your feelings for him. You're so conflicted, so unsure of yourself. You don't know what you love anymore, what you hate, what you want. Everything is so messy. "I think I still love who he used to be. He wasn't real but I fell for him and I still love him," you explain slowly. "I'm still in love with his image. Isn't that _pathetic_?" you bark out a laugh.

"It'll pass," he says with an expressionless face, the one he always uses when he pretends to be okay and not hurting and not feeling. "First loves aren't supposed to last."

"Matt was my first love," you mumble quietly. You don't even know why you bothered to say it because it's such a trivial detail, and you know he's right - it _will_ pass. But right now it just _hurts_.

"Well, you know what they say," he begins, his trademark smirk that you secretly love so much back in place. "Third time's the charm."

You laugh a real laugh this time - you briefly marvel about the fact that he never fails to make you laugh, even in the worst of situations - and he's looking at you with that look and you know what he's thinking - that he could be your third time's charm, and you know that's a great possibility, and you even like that idea, but you're not ready yet. And you don't want to lead him on, you don't want to be _Katherine_.

Your smile suddenly fades away and you open your mouth to say the words that will kill him inside a little bit more again, but he somehow understands and he doesn't feel like hearing you say it so he puts a finger to your lips and shakes his head. "No, don't say it. I know. _I know_, Elena," he shrugs like it's no big deal but you know different. You know how much he loves you and it's killing you that you can't feel the same. "I know you still love Stefan and I don't expect that to change overnight. I just want you to know that I'm here for you," he takes your hands in his, squeezing it and making your breath hitch in your throat. The place where his skin meets yours is tingling pleasurable and it's really more than you can take. Oh, _yes_, you're definitely attracted to him. But you always knew that. "And I'll _always_ be here." You look down at your lap, trying to avoid his piercing blue eyes that makes you weak in the knees - and it's a good thing you're sitting - but he forces your head up and you can't find your strength to fight him. "Elena, look at me. I'll wait for you, _for as long as it takes_. Do you understand me?"

You barely manage a nod, that's how hypnotized you are with his eyes. If you didn't know better you'd think he was compelling you. But you know it's just his natural charm. "I'm sorry." You don't even know what you're apologizing for. For making him wait so long? For not loving him in return? For being attracted to him while still loving his brother?

God, you'd never felt more like Katherine before than in this moment and this realization disgusts you so much.

"Don't be. Just stay with me and I'm content." There's a hint of desperation in his tone that you don't like - like you'd actually leave him now, now when you don't have anybody else left - so you squeeze his hands back, smiling at him somewhat sadly. He's better at this whole deep and meaningful conversation than one would think.

He smiles back at you, the usual boyish mischief returning to his eyes and you find yourself looking forward to the time when you'll finally _really_ be together.

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><p><strong>I know it's kinda short but I wrote this today, just now, so...<strong>

**So, what do you think? Should I write more Delena or should I just stick with Steferine? I could try something if anyone has ideas for this two but I'm really unsure of my ability to write Delena so... if you wanna see more, tell me ;)**

**And I actually have an idea to write a twin story for this, this time focusing on Steferine, and what happens after Elena leaves him. Anyone interested?**

**Also there were hints through the whole story, although I never outright said it, but if anyone's wondering, the reason why Damon and Elena only have each other left is because everyone else is dead. That's right, Klaus killed them all.  
><strong>

**And I know I made Stefan here the anti-hero or even the evil character, but that's honestly how I see him. I think he has two sides to him, he just tries to deny the ripper part of him, or used to, but it was always there, and both sides of Stefan equally make him who he really is. I don't think Elena could love both sides of him though. Not the ripper side.**

**Well, thank you all for reading :)**

**Love,**

**Kathy**


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